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Bait & Switch


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Drama/Comedy, USA, 2010, 43 min.

Synopsis Jack (Colin Hanks) and a woman are held at shotgun point by a honky in a warehouse. She apologies. He calls it the worst date ever. A car comes crashing/flying through the window.34 Hours Earlier Dallas Police Dept.Jack and Dan (Bradley Whitford) are hot on the case of vandals throwing rocks through windows. Jack settles plans with Liz (Jenny Wade) to meet up the next day to watch a game, leading Dan to lecture him about the importance of not doing things with girls as a friend, thereby sacrificing manhood. "So watching baseball at a sports bar makes me a girl?" Jack clarifies. "Exactly, a scared, helpless little girl."Jack and Dan interview two hot young women who had a rock thrown through their window. When Dan hears the women were watching a movie in bed together when it happened he insists they recreate the event. Lying in bed with one of the women he notices the street lights outside are also busted, meaning someone didn't want people to see what they were doing.Cut to a slick Euro Thief, Nigel (Steve Valentine), walking through a warehouse of stolen vintage cars, then worrying his lady is ignoring his calls.He and his lackey walk out to the train his cars are supposed to be getting on, where the local help tells them the train isn't running because his boss got caught with coke. When he asks for his half of the money for finding the warehouse, Nigel shoots him.Jack and Dan ask Kirsten (Lauren Stamile), a derective, from organized crimes for help. They've tied the smashed out lights to thefts of vintage cars. Her bosses don't buy it and won't lend them a bait car, but Kirsten tells Jack to be sure and call if he needs anything.Jack has an idea. It involves using Dan's Trans-Am as bait. He objects at first, then comes around: "I have heard tell, if you love something, set it free. And then track it down."They need a tracking device and know the department won't give them one. Dan has an idea. Cut to Dan trying to sweet talk Julius (RonReaco Lee) the thief and his ankle monitor to sit in the trunk and wait for it to get stolen. They offer to find a way to let him visit his girlfriend in Jamaica if he does. He climbs in.3 hours and 57 minutes later Jack comes back with sandwiches and finds computer illiterate Dan has gotten the computer infected with a virus by looking at porn. They race around the corner to find the car, and Julius, gone.Jack fixes it and they're three miles away. They come around the corner and find Julius wearing a garbage bag. He says they were British car thieves.20 Minutes Earlier Julius is running away from a warehouse, throws a trash bag over a barbed wire fence and climbs over it, getting scratched up. "I will find you!" Dan shouts to his car in the night.Julius takes them to the lot where Jack writes down the license plates.Nigel meets with the honky from the beginning of the show and he and his fellow honky to negotiate how much they'll get for use of their car transport. They're taking turns pulling guns on each other when Nigel's woman finally calls and he goes all mushy then immediately agrees to the honkey's price.Back at the department, Kirsten tells them she ran the plates and the cars are all stolen. Her team is waiting on a warrant and will take them down, but Jack and Dan are invited. Then she asks to speak to Jack alone.Outside the warehouse, Jack is psyched for his date that night with Kirsten (whom Dan insists on calling "Kristen.") But Dan is put out Jack made plans with a woman instead of planning to celebrate a bust with him. He explains with his old partner Frank they used to celebrate with oysters and beer."It was fascinating, you didn't know which was going to make you puke first. You try taking that type of journey with Kristen," he pouts.Dan interrupts Kirsten's commands to her team for his own pep talk. "Whatever hell on earth we find on the other side of that door, just remember one thing: protect the gray Trans-Am."They bust in, but it's empty. Jack thinks the bad guys knew they were coming and wonders how that's possible.Cut to 7 Hours Earlier, Nigel answering his lady's call. It's Kirsten, calling from work to tell him they're onto his warehouse and he has to move his cars. Which explains why Nigel settled with the honkys so fast.Back at the department, Jack thinks Julius tipped them off.Sammy's autoshop Kirsten talks to Nigel, who's put out that she's going out with Jack. She wants to know how they found the warehouse without departmental help. He asks her to make it lunch, not dinner. He takes out his gun, ready to off the honkys when they get there.Cut to the honkys, driving to the meet feeling patriotic and thinking they should rip off the Brits: "Made in America, stoled in America."Liz drops by and Dan loudly mentions Jack's date. She goes overboard proving she's not jealous. Dan borrows Jack's car to pick up Julius and forces him into the trunk to recreate the crime. He remembers the brits talking and thinks one named Niles was talking about a girl named Kristen. Dan realizes this is Kirsten, the woman he thinks is Kristen.Coming into her lunch date, Kirsten talks to Nigel on the phone. He wants her to bring Jack to him so they can off him. She gets Jack out of the restaurant by asking how far away he lives.Dan busts down the door at Jack's apartment to warn him about "Kristen." He finds a mess and some blood.22 minutes earlier Jack brings Kirsten home and she starts kissing him. She sits him down on the couch and takes off his gun, then pulls hers, saying she wants him to meet her boyfriend Nigel.He knocks her over when she looks away and they roll around on the carpet until he pins her. But she maces him.On the way to the meet, the honkeys try to psyche themselves up for whacking the Brits.Jack kicks like crazy in the back seat of Kirsten's cop car.Dan tries to convince Julius to help him but gets a radio call Julius' ankle tracking device was deactivated then reactivated.11 Minutes Earlier Jack takes the tracking anklet out of his pocket and turns it on.Dan realizes the beeping has to be Jack.Nigel greets Jack at his new warehouse and holds a gun to his head.Jack tells Kirsten he wishes he hadn't taken her back to his place. Nigel is pissed. Jack sees he's hit a nerve and keeps on, telling Nigel that Kirsten has slept with half the cops in the department and there's a reason she always says she's working late.Soon, Nigel has Kirsten down on her knees and a gun to her head as well.Dan tries to to figure out the tracking device by yelling at the computer.Back at the warehouse, Nigel's lackey goes down with a bullet to the leg. The honkeys bust in.Dan steps on the computer and demands it tell him where his partner is.The honkeys disarm the Brits.When Dan takes out his gun to shoot the laptop Julius finally steps in. "Wow, it's like you're the computer machine whisperer," Dan says.Nigel tells the honkeys he doesn't have their money because he was planning to kill them and steal their car carrier. Kirsten tries to bargain with the honkeys but gets nowhere. She apologizes to Jack. He calls it the worst first date ever.A car comes through the window. "Is that my car?" Jack yells.1 Minute Earlier Dan and Julius peer through a window of the warehouse and see the Brit-honky-cop scene. Dan needs a distraction and finally has a use for the "computer machine." He uses it to pin down the gas pedal and off Jack's car goes.A shootout ensues and lots of classic American cars bite the dust. Kirsten gets a free gun and turns it on Nigel. He calls her "Kristen" and she shoots him and runs.The honkys are getting away, but Dan shoots out a gas tank near them, knocking them on their cans.Jack goes after Kirsten and the gun gets knocked away. Julius runs around the corner and picks up the gun, telling her to freeze. They get the bad guys."We did it partner," Dan tells the recently kidnaped Jack. "The Trans-Am is safe."Liz stops by and assesses the crimes scene and gives Jack a hug. She confesses to being just marginally jealous. She asks him out again to the sports bar.He declines, saying he and Dan have a tradition after a big bust.Jack joins Dan in the Trans-Am. "Oysters and beer?" Dan asks. "Until we puke," Jack agrees.

Directed by Matt Shakman  

Starring Bradley Whitford, Colin Hanks, Jenny Wade, Diana-Maria Riva, RonReaco Lee, more...

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