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Moon Landing


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Comedy/Romance/, USA, 2010, 30 min.

Synopsis A very busy morning for everybody. Haley broke up with Dylan because she prefers someone who does not bang their head on the garage door every time they ride their bike out (EVERY time), Claire is meeting up with an old workmate, Gloria has to get legal advice from Mitchell from a fender-bender she had, and Jay has finally caved in and agreed to play racquetball with Cameron. Granted, Jay is not thrilled about the prospect because the locker room atmosphere is one of the things he goes to a gym for.JAY: For me, it's a locker room. For him, it's a showroom.Well, clearly a lot more showed than either of them wanted. As both took off their street clothes, following a slightly uncomfortable discussion about the fact that Jay wears boxers and Cam always thought he was a tighty-whitey guy, they accidentally bump their glutei maximi. Of course, Jay is freaking out too much and Cameron isn't freaking out enough.CAMERON: Oh, come on. All the time you've spent in the locker room, this can't be your first moon landing.JAY: There's actually a name for it?!?!?!?After discovering his bus stop billboard had a moustache drawn on him, Phil decides he's going to try and rock the Tom Selleck look.PHIL: Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads or someone who follows? I'm bettin' these babies are coming back in a big way. Buy low, sell high. People are going to look at this and say, "That guy's high."Claire meets with her ex-coworker, Valerie. (Minnie Driver) Although Claire decided she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and felt a bit smug that Valerie seemed to be jealous, it turns out that Valerie was now an executive at that company, and Claire probably could have had that job if she stayed around. And then Valerie was off to Paris on another promotion. Claire had it wrong: Valerie wasn't jealous of her; Valerie pitied her. Now Claire wants to bring her back to her house to show everything that she missed: the kids, the house, having only one lover instead of four...Mitchell and Gloria talk about her accident. She claims a guy cut her off, but Manny, the only other witness, secretly tells Mitchell that Gloria was at fault. She was going 100 mph and she can't take criticism of her driving. As it happens, Jay, who claims losing to Cameron because he was distracted by the "moon landing," also didn't have the guts to tell Gloria she can't drive, so he dumped it on Mitchell. Naturally, Manny suddenly pleads the 5th in front of his mother, and Gloria reads Mitchell the riot act.Claire brings Valerie to meet the family, but perhaps the timing was a bit off. Haley was throwing Dylan's stuff out the window, Luke was trying to understand the appeal of Jagermeister, and Alex was trying to kill a rat. And that's before Phil got stuck in the port-a-pottie outside with the water turned off in the house. The good news is, Valerie finds the rat, which isn't nearly as gross as Haley and Dylan making up (and making out). Claire freaks out at them and leaves. She appreciates that they let her slide on yelling at them when she was trying to impress Valerie.Jay decides to have a return match to prove he can beat Cameron in racquetball. He is successful and is so proud of himself that he decides he can handle the "moon landing," and even the "splashdown," which is a moon landing right out of the shower. Now if only Cameron was there when he demonstrated that and not the large angry bald guy that was. Gloria finally apologizes to Mitchell and admits she may not be the best driver, if crashing into the wall of the restaurant is any indication.

Directed by Jason Winer  

Starring Ed O'Neill, Sofía Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, more...

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