It's a typical day at the Dunphy house. In other words, it's insane. Phil (Ty Burrell) got a call from Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) asking to show a house to some friends of theirs that he had shown them five times already. Therefore, he can't supervise Haley (Sarah Hyland) and Alex (Ariel Winter) cleaning the kitchen, who made the mistake of whispering they were bored within earshot of Claire, who has a twenty-mile range. But Claire (Julie Bowen) has to run and take her sister to the airport, so Phil will have to deal with showing a house while getting Alex and the stack of dishes in her hands from around the marbles in the vase someone dropped while simultaneously not letting Luke (Nolan Gould) either electrocute a squirrel back to life or wearing his friend's lice-infested hat. ("It's kind of tickles.")Jay (Ed O'Neill) got a call inviting (Rico Rodriguez) Manny to play football with the neighborhood boys. But Gloria (Sofía Vergara) said Manny was busy with his morning constitution and singing "Sunny Side of the Street" while getting ready for a matinee theatre performance. (JAY: Gloria, I can't express to you enough how much Manny needs football.) Manny found a lucky penny, making 99 of them, one penny short of buying a lottery ticket. Gloria and he did that before they met Jay, only Gloria thinks she already one the lottery.MANNY: So I can keep whatever we win?GLORIA: I think no. I found most of them!Margo, who had the theatre tickets, calls the house, but Jay intercepts and tells her Manny and Gloria can't go. Then he steeps Manny's tea. Jay figured he'd be in trouble, but Gloria would see Manny playing with the other boys and enjoy it. And she did...right up to the point where Manny found the lucky 100th penny and got blindsided by a truck.Phil has to deal with Steven and Stefan, Mitch and Cam's friends (who make Mitch and Cam look like Chuck Norris by comparison), but Phil has a way to get around the "Commission: Impossible" situation he was in: a hookup for a European washer. (Yes, they fell for it.) Unfortunately, Claire thinks Phil is still at home taking care of things, and Steven and Stefan misinterpret it as another couple trying to get the house. (Well, Claire IS technically his boss, so...) So Phil doesn't have one home to go to, but at least he sold the one he was in.Steven and Stefan did have some advice for Mitchell and Cameron (Eric Stonestreet), who didn't want to have a surrogate mother because who would fertilize the egg? They said to do a 'swirl', where they both donate and leave it to chance on which one fertilizes so nobody feels left out. Then they meet Steven and Stefan's son. Who looks totally like Stefan. Well, it sounded good in theory.A bit of a role reversal for the show. Everything's quiet at the Dunphys and crazy at the Pritchetts. Claire was ecstatic Haley, Alex, and Luke cleaned everything up without her supervision, but Gloria was ticked off at Jay because Manny was now using a power chair to get around after getting injured. Gloria was furious about Jay cancelling the theatre, but Jay insisted Manny had to get out and play with other kids instead of spending all of his time with his Mommy.GLORIA: If you have a problem with the way Manny's being raised, you talk to me!JAY: I am.GLORIA: I don't want to hear it!Phil and Claire take Mitchell and Cameron to dinner as a thank you for sending Steven and Stefan their way. And they have a few drinks. And reenact a couple of funny scenes from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (which really can't be done in text, so let's just move on). There was some crying (Phil) and some complaining (Mitch, not Claire). But somehow through their drunken haze, they figure out Mitch and Cam's problem with surrogacy. They use an egg from Claire and sperm from Cameron so the baby is half Pritchett-half Tucker. (and no Dunphy, which may explain Phil's crying)CLAIRE: (hammered) Guys, I make really good babies. My eggs are, like, golden!Phil and Claire were definitely regretting it in the morning.CLAIRE: What was I thinking? I just get drunk and bring a baby into the world?PHIL: That would be four-for-four. Don't panic, you haven't donated anything left. What are the chances your eggs even work?CLAIRE: We'll just say 'Phil said no'.PHIL: Like they'd really believe I overruled you?Claire and Phil won't have to convince Mitchell to change his mind. Cam, on the other hand, was on a website where you could upload pictures of two people and find out what a baby would look like with them as parents. (Admittedly, the one he and Justin Timberlake would have was a good-looking baby.) Mitchell thinks it would be too weird because he's not really in there, and the child would be saying hi to Aunt Mommy all the time. They talk over at Jay and Gloria's. Well, they try to. Yes, it's quite awkward. Phil and Claire tell the kids, who actually think it's a good idea. Well, Luke doesn't, but he thinks Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) is a mess. Mitch and Cam overhear it and think Phil and Claire really want to go through with it. Then Jay overhears and thinks it's crazy. Then Gloria hears him and berates him for trying to run peoples' lives, despite agreeing the idea is crazy. Suddenly Mitch gets defensive, and Phil and Claire think nobody is backing off, and...yes, it's like crossing Deliverance and an episode of Three's Company. While everybody argued their heads off, Claire and Mitch sneak under the table (like they used to do as kids...and at Jay and Gloria's wedding) and admit they didn't want to do it. Claire apologizes for suggesting it, and Mitch thanks her for being so generous and thoughtful.Back at home, Jay felt a bit guilty, so he decided to palm 4 of the 100 pennies so Manny and Gloria thought they were short again. But Gloria knew why he did it, and she forgave him for everything he did. And Cam and Mitch found out what a baby from them would look like. Scared the hell out of Lily.
Directed by Michael Spiller Starring Ed O'Neill
, Sofía Vergara
, Julie Bowen
, Ty Burrell
, Jesse Tyler Ferguson
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