Security Briefs

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Comedy/Drama/, 2009, 25 min.

Synopsis The good news is, the house remains safe, thanks to Cohen's security team.The bad news is, nobody is getting any sleep from all the noise they're making. And don't get Turtle started on his missing Froot-Loops or the fact the security guys don't always flush the toilet. Even Drama's daily dose of comic relief is no relief, at least not for him. The tanning bed accident that now occupies his face is courtesy of Dan Coakley, who had Drama sit for four hours in makeup just to say one line about battery acid being sprayed over his character's face. Since he has to go back later that night, he opted to leave the makeup on. Some sleep-deprived arguments later, Aaron Cohen drops by. He promises to talk to the security guys about the cereal and the bathroom, but he made headway on Vince's stalker. The stalker, Curtis Tucker, burned down his house when he was 12, badly injuring his father. Suddenly a few floaters in the toilet don't seem so bad; the security stays as it is. Cohen has constant surveillance on the stalker, just to be safe.Since Turtle has classes and Drama won't take his makeup off, Vince needs Eric to accompany him to a clothing fitting for his new movie. They call E, who is in bed with Ashley. Even though the phone call seems innocent enough, despite Drama's suggestions as to how Ashley should wake up Eric in the morning, she gives E the third degree on the call. She even checks his phone log while he is in the shower.At MGA, we find out that Adam Davies has become the head of talent at his company. Ari already has a surprise congratulatory gift for him, in the form of Zac Efron jumping from Davies' company to MGA because, without Efron's knowledge or approval, Davies promised Disney a shirtless lunchbox of Efron in exchange for Disney throwing The Rock a few million extra for doing a sequel to "Escape to Witch Mountain." Granted, the mom outside the store with her daughter wouldn't mind that lunchbox, or an autograph for that matter.But apparently Davies learned sleazy from the best, and Efron jumped. Naturally, Adam won't let this rest. He calls Lloyd and offers him a job as a full-time agent, tripling his salary in the process. Lloyd has loyalty issues, though. He's committed to Ari.At the fitting, Vince, Eric, and Drama (who ignored Vince's order to lose the battery acid look) are discussing E's trust issues with Ashley. Vince and the woman fitting his clothing for the Ferrari movie agree that Eric will have to earn back that trust, but he can do it. Vince's new movie is to be directed by Frank Darabont, only without Andy Dufresne and Red this time. Darabont meets up with the boys and is troubled by the extra security that is with them, who report that they lost surveillance on the stalker. Vince explains what is going on, and Darabont doesn't want him to take chances. Apparently, a paroled prisoner threatened to "Shawshank him in the ***," so he started to carry a gun and shot the guy when he actually showed up at his house. Everybody agrees to continue the fitting at the house, especially the woman who was doing the fitting. Obviously, Vince will get to do some fitting of his own there.Unfortunately, this is not good enough for Drama, who almost comes to blows with Aaron Cohen for not doing enough to protect Vince. Cohen can't do anything without enough proof, and Drama's suggestion to give Curtis an "Israeli warning" is not well-received. E gets the two to calm down, but Drama is going to do an end-around on Cohen. Learning from Cohen where Curtis works, he makes a phone call to The Pleasure Chest. One of the workers there, Sadie, tells Drama that Curtis will be there around 4PM. Drama intends to keep the appointment and give him a little "New York warning" about stalking Vince.Lloyd mulls over the offer from Adam Davies with his boyfriend, Tom, but Ari is about to make the decision easier. He berates Lloyd over the paper cups that are being used for the water cooler, even though it was Ari's idea. Further berating Lloyd for trying to switch out Ari's keyboard prompts him to ask Ari if they were still on track to make him an agent 50 days from now. Ari takes offense and starts adding days. He even adds days for Lloyd saying "please"...or nothing at all. Ari, out of sheer nastiness, decides to delegate a boatload of menial tasks for Lloyd to do for the sake of Ari's power trip, even cleaning up the dog crap at Ari's house... and his neighbor's. Even worse, it isn't good enough for Ari that Lloyd gets all of these done within 30 minutes, including bringing Ari's car back from the car wash. Lloyd gets hit from behind in Ari's car, and Ari loses it. He blames Lloyd for an accident that isn't his fault and keeps adding days for Lloyd crying, even though Lloyd wasn't. Lloyd has had enough. He quits and leaves Ari's car in the middle of the street, right where the accident is.Drama contacts Turtle to tell him about his plan and complains that Cohen's security is following him. He needs Turtle to ask Cohen for security to take the heat off of him so he can give Curtis the "New York warning," but Turtle is about to solve the problem himself. More accurately, a female coed who recognizes Turtle as Jamie-Lynn Sigler's boyfriend confesses they stole his underwear as part of a sorority initiation. The other sorority sisters are wearing Turtle's boxers. But Brooke, the one who talked to Turtle and thinks he's cute, only wears thongs, which she was more than happy to prove to Turtle.Before Drama can go psycho on Curtis, he shows his current license. The one found in the couch was lost years ago. Apparently, Curtis used to work at the same furniture store the guys shop at. There was never a stalker, and the boys are only too happy to send Cohen and his security detail on their way.Unfortunately, Ari just realized the results of sending Lloyd on his way.

Directed by Ken Whittingham  

Starring Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Perrey Reeves, more...

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