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Comedy/Drama/, USA, 2008, 30 min.

Synopsis Alan Gray is out to get Ari, and Ari is ready to go to war for Vince. Of course, it's on the golf course. Suffice it to say, Eric is not particularly enthusiastic about Ari's plan to wager Vinces part into "Smoke Jumpers," but Ari is hearing none of it. Meanwhile, Drama is getting ready for work, and---get ready to be shocked---Turtle is looking for a job. Although the thought of "selling himself to old broads for cash" has its appeal, Turtle only has one viable idea: becoming Johnny's assistant. Even with Vince and E helping to vouch for Turtle, Drama is not convinced. However, Drama agrees to let him try it for the day. Eric has plans to sell Charlie's script, but something is about to interrupt all of it. Their childhood friend, Dom, calls from his car, which is in a high-speed chase from the cops. He is pleading with Vince to help him out as the police blockade him and place him under arrest.At the golf course, Ari and Alan are warming up on the driving range. After exchanging a few pleasantries that make the Watergate tapes seem like a answering machine message, they find someone else also on the range: Bob Ryan. Bob was supposed to play with Peter Bogdanovich, but he cancelled. Alan, knowing how much Bob annoys Ari, asks him to join the group. Ari still seems confident until he meets the 4th member of the group: Phil Mickelson. Phil is there to help Alan keep his game in line.On the Five Towns set, Drama is already in full primadonna mode with his new assistant. However, Turtle is OK with the "no grass, no booze, and no cavorting" rules. However, Drama's first major demand is a killer: a bowl of FiberCon with about 20-30 raisins from the Raisin Bran box. Also, a half-orange juice, half-apple juice, and a splash of V-8 with paper-thin banana slices.At the jail, Dom explains what happened. A cop tried to pull him over, and Dom was afraid he had some weed in the glove compartment. Dom claims it's for his mother-in-law, who has glaucoma. As they leave, and Eric posts the $100K bail, E is convinced Dom made the whole thing up. Vince is still backing Dom, however. He agrees to get Eric back his $100K if Dom does run.Back on the set, Turtle has Drama's breakfast, but Johnny freaks. Apparently, he can tell the raisins did not come from a Raisin Bran box. Even though Turtle had no choice but to use Sun-Maid, Drama flips out over it. Trying to remain calm and ignoring Drama's histrionics, he asks if there is anything else he can do. Drama gives him a long list of stuff. An exasperated Turtle gets some advice from another assistant: find something to relax the star. Turtle figures it out. When Drama heads back to his trailer, he finds that Turtle didn't get any of the stuff on his list. But he did get one thing that wasn't on it: an extra in Victoria's Secret lingerie just waiting for Johnny. Surprisingly, this gets Drama ticked. As it happens, he's trying to avoid sleeping with anybody on the set so that there are no sexual harassment lawsuits that he has to deal with. "You bang an assistant because you pay her to stay quiet. These extras are just jerking their way to a lawsuit." Of course, Turtle did not know this and apologizes.Eric and Vince make it to Charlie's pitch meeting with Dom in tow. While they talk, Dom has to excuse himself to the bathroom. Eric, being paranoid, leaves the meeting to follow him. As it happens, Dom actually did need to use the bathroom. However, E's paranoia worked for the best: Charlie got the script because Vince charmed the socks off the executive and agreed to be in the pilot episode. They take Dom home, but Dom is still not happy that E thinks he's going to jump bail. Vince, however, tells Dom that E put up the bail money. Dom is very apologetic to E about how he's been acting. As it turns out, Dom's told nothing but the truth. His wife, Sophie, comes home with their daughter and her blind mother. (Hence the weed in the glove box.) Dom is completely reformed, and everybody has a wonderful lunch. However, panic sets in when a van screeches out the back of the house. Vince and E run out, thinking it's Dom. However, it was Sophie. Dom and Sophie had a pact that she would leave him if he ever got in trouble again. He confessed what happened to him, and she promptly left. Dom asks Eric for a ride back to jail.On the golf course, Ari is down 8 holes but is ready to actually play golf. Alan is not convinced and wants to raise the stakes. Ari counters by wanting Vince in the movie. Alan is mad as hell because he didn't want to hear Vince's name mentioned, but Ari only did it because Alan has acted like an arrogant jerk the whole day. Sadly for Ari, Alan has one more trick up his sleeve. He decides to pull a Mickelson and golf lefty like he normally does.On the final hole, Ari needs a 30 foot chip shot to go in to tie the match. He missed by a country mile, and the gloating is on. Alan can't let it go and gives Ari another putt from a little closer. "Just one more shot for your pretty boy, Vince." Ari just misses this one as well. "You're really a gutless f***in' prick, Ari. You're both a couple of losers." Alan just seems to get angrier and angrier. Now Alan is yelling at Ari to never tell him to calm down, shocking even Bob and Phil Mickelson. He is getting madder and madder...and suffers a heart attack.Turtle and Drama are back on speaking terms, and Turtle has gotten everything on the list. Drama has calmed down because he realizes Turtle was trying to help him. Drama even called Vince, who was making sure everything went well, to say how well Turtle did. And now that the day is over, Turtle is off the clock and ditches Drama at work, leaving him to walk home.Ari calls the guys at home. Clearly shaken, he tells them that Alan is dead. "The joy of me losing was too much for his angry little heart." Ari wants to be with his family beause life is too short. Everybody is upset about this turn of events, but Drama sees it a little differently.

Directed by Seith Mann  

Starring Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Perrey Reeves, more...

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