One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car

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Comedy/Drama/, 2009, 26 min.

Synopsis Is there a way to tick off a post-coital Eric Murphy without using a relationship or depress Turtle on his birthday? The answer to both questions is "yes." After spending the night with Ashley, she commits the cardinal sins of breaking his coffee press (that's not a euphemism, either) and watching the pilot episode of E's current lone client, Charlie. Unfortunately, Ashley's opinion of Charlie on the pilot is that "I hate him." Turtle's depression goes deeper. Apparently, his mother takes this annual event to criticize the hell out of her son. Although one would have to admit that giving him a Weight Watchers membership when he was 13 is significantly worse than complaining he's in People magazine with Jamie-Lynn Sigler with the headline "SHE'S DATING HIM?!" Apparently, she thinks Turtle is no spring chicken anymore on his 30th. (Beats calling him a freeloading loser, doesn't it?) Fortunately for Turtle, things pick up quickly, at least to the outside observer. Vince and Drama are giving E both barrels about Ashley's comments ("Only a bitch lets a bitch make them insecure!") This is to be followed by a lovely day of Ferrari automobiles on a racetrack. Of course, Vince needs to practice for his upcoming role, so he smokes the competition. Of course, the resident smoker of the group (Turtle) gets the ultimate Miss Congeniality prize: a $240,000 Ferrari.As E goes to MGA for a State of the Vince talk with Ari, Charlie (and his mother) are freaking out about how the pilot did. Eric doesn't have any news for him yet, so he has to keep the two relaxed. Lloyd acting weird (such as calling people Mr. Murphy and Mr., well, Turtle) to get his agency card is not helping. Although the offers for Vince keep pouring in (with 8-figure paydays), E's main concern is that Charlie tested poorly on the pilot, although the pilot itself did well. The CW has decided to dump Charlie from the show he created and stars in. E is beside himself because of his loyalty to Charlie. Unfortunately, upon further review of the pilot, Eric slowly concedes that Charlie was off his game on the pilot. Of course, he was influenced by a rather naked Ashley into this opinion, but he now knows what he needs to do next.Turtle's funk seems to be continuing, and 50 Cent rolling up in his Bentley didn't help it. He asks his cousin Ronnie (and the set designer of Entourage must have taken pictures of my apartment to design Ronnie's...ugh!) for some investment capital for a business he wants to run. This is apparently the thing that has been driving his depression: wanting to make something of himself. This would explain why Jamie-Lynn giving him a Porsche for his birthday as well would seem like enabling him. He finally goes to Ari for advice. Ari lays out some harsh reality but good business sense to him. He wants to know Turtle's capital outlay, his mission statement, where investors would break even and when they would see a profit. Turtle has none of this information, but he is finally seeing the point. He enrolls in some UCLA Extension classes to learn how to run a business. Of course, Drama is more than happy to make this his present to Turtle, especially given he got the guys believing (for a minute) he was going to give Turtle a full ride to UCLA.E gets some advice from Ari. Although he doesn't think Eric has the juice in the industry to pull it off, Ari advises him to go to Amy Miller at the CW and beg, borrow, steal...even play the race keep Charlie employed. Eric goes to the mattresses for Charlie. It doesn't work, but E now has a sense of what he needs to do in the industry to get something done and knows he has the guts to do it. E pulls himself and Vince out of the show as producers. Ari was impressed with Eric's new set of brass ones.

Directed by Mark Mylod  

Starring Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Rex Lee, more...

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