Berried Alive

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Comedy/Drama/, 2009, 28 min.

Synopsis As usual, Eric can't figure out what he did "wrong" when it comes to Ashley. Unfortunately and not for the first time, he gets conflicting information from Vince and Turtle about whether to call her and demand to know what's wrong. Turtle wants E to take a stand against women who get mad at their boyfriends when they haven't done anything wrong. Coincidentally, Jamie-Lynn is a bit weirded out by the fact that the sorority girls at UCLA stole his underwear. Speaking of weird, Drama has a staph infection. Technically, his character on "Five Towns" does, and he appears to be on his way to a coma, courtesy of Dan Coakley's regime of messing with Drama. He is ready to just grin and bear it until Phil Yagota walks into the restaurant. He was the producer that got Drama kicked off of "Melrose Place," or so Drama thought. It turns out that Phil had nothing to do with that. What's even better is that he has a role for Drama in the new "Melrose Place" series. Of course, Dan Coakley would be more than happy to let Drama out of his "Five Towns" contract if he was willing to help Drama, which of course he isn't. Drama calls Lloyd, who is being attended to by his handsome boyfriend, Tom. Lloyd wants a commitment from his only client to follow him to Adam Davies' company. Drama will think about it if Lloyd can find out if Drama's character really is going into a coma and if Lloyd can break the contract if that's the case.As much as Eric would like to stay and see Drama call Lloyd at 6:30 in the morning to demand to be released from his current contract, E has another task in mind: find out what Ashley's deal is. It's driving him nuts that he doesn't know what he did wrong, so he is heading down there, provided the sober Turtle drives him. Waking Ashley up, Eric wants to know what he did wrong. Ashley's problems stem from a phone call E took the other day where the caller ID said Rupert Pupkin. That call was from Vince, who uses the character's name from "The King of Comedy" as an alias when he calls. It would also explain why E talked to Drama and Turtle in the same call. Instead of apologizing, Ashley demands an "open relationship". By open, she means to be able to listen to Eric's voicemail messages and read his email, both work and personal. She also wants him to promise her he doesn't have a thing for his assistant, which he didn't even know he had.Vince calls Ari, who again has to miss out on Mrs. Ari performing lewd sexual acts on him, to ask him for help on getting Drama out of his "Five Towns" contract. Given that Lloyd went over to Adam Davies' company, suddenly Ari is more than willing to go to bat for Drama. His first order of business is to tear Lloyd a new one over the phone and threaten to "erode every fiber of your spirit". Ari gives Lloyd the full Godfather treatment over the phone, promising to ruin anybody who even nods in Lloyd's direction. His first salvo will be to set up a face-to-face meeting with Dan Coakley. Although Lloyd was able to confirm that the "Melrose" offer was legit and Drama was the only one considered so far, he can't get in contact with Dan Coakley. However, Ari can. Ari can also get Coakley on the membership roll at the Riviera Country Club, where Coakley had been on the long waiting list. All Coakley has to do is release Drama from his contract and refuse to talk to Lloyd, "ever". Since Ari did this for Drama, Drama will stay at MGA with Ari as his agent.At Murray Berenson, Eric is still upset with himself for giving up his Blackberry to Ashley, and Vince is more than happy to remind him how dumb of a decision that was. Brittany, his assistant, mentions that Ashley was in his office the previous day. E relays the story about Ashley wanting to see his emails, and Brittany expresses her belief that Ashley's elevator doesn't stop on all the floors.Turtle is still nervous about the fact that Brooke, one of the co-eds, seems hauntingly attracted to him, which is uncharted territory for him. Jamie seems less worried about it than he does...until she actually sees Brooke, or as Jamie mentions it, "the brunette". She makes a good show of kissing Turtle in the "sorority ho's" presence to get them to back off.Drama is more than thrilled that Ari managed to get him out of his "Five Towns" contract. Furthermore, Ari wants to represent Drama. Drama is ready to do it, until Lloyd shows up in front of their locked gate. Lloyd impresses Drama with his knowledge of Drama's career, having seen "Viking Quest", his original Melrose stint, even the pilot episode of the "new, new Love Boat." (Drama made a great Captain Stubing.) Drama is touched by Lloyd's dedication, so he asks Ari if he really wants to represent him, or was he just doing this to spite Lloyd. Ari admits he did it to spite Lloyd and keep Vince happy. Drama thanks him for what he did, but he really wants an agent that believes in him. Ari agrees, and they part with a handshake. Lloyd still has a client.Eric meets with Ashley for lunch, after talking with Vince about her and Brittany. Despite Brittany's seemingly obvious intentions, it was clear that E had to break up with Ashley. The fact that his phone rings and he keeps ignoring it during their conversation was starting to drive her crazy. She refuses to listen to anything he says and thinks his assistant wants to sleep with him. She keeps yelling at him in the middle of the restaurant to talk to Brittany or Sloan or whoever was on the phone. It turns out it was Eric's aunt, though he initially said it's his office during the first ringing. She refuses to believe she's crazy, but showing up to the premiere uninvited, listening to his voicemail messages, looking at his phone log, and wanting to read his emails point to the contrary. Eric finally dumps her, at which point she causes a huge scene in the restaurant, though E takes it in stride, as he seemed to know it was coming and makes sure to get the last word. Brittany's timing could not be better. She invites Eric and the boys out to party with some of her friends, where E warns the boys that Brittany is off limits ("hands off my assistant!"), though they're strictly professional.Turtle continues to freak out because Brooke seems to be interested in him. He is surprised at the notion of being considered most attractive to the opposite sex when he finally doesn't need to be. He wants to stay with Jamie-Lynn, but she just got an offer for a new TV series -- that films in New Zealand.

Directed by David Nutter  

Starring Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Perrey Reeves, more...

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